


A Grimm Guide to Romance

by ChuckleVoodoos



Series: Invisible Gorilla Testing [5]
Category: The Avengers (2012)
Genre: But Also Some Angst, F/M, Happy Ending, Love Confessions, M/M, Resolved Love Triangle, Tooth-Rotting Fluff
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-02-09
Updated: 2013-02-09
Packaged: 2017-11-28 18:24:44
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,122
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/677453
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ChuckleVoodoos/pseuds/ChuckleVoodoos
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Betty feels like a Cinderella who has lost her Prince, Bruce feels a bit like Sleeping Beauty waiting for a very flaky prince to show up, and Tony needs to take some lessons in how to be Charming.</p>
            </blockquote>





	A Grimm Guide to Romance

Betty sits by the fountain and stares at the water. She hasn’t moved in over an hour, but she will in a second. Just another second.

 

Bruce is already gone, back to confront Tony. Betty would worry more about the outcome if she hadn’t borne witness to their mating dance for the past four years. As it is, she expects a slew of avoidant banter before one of them—probably Bruce—cuts to the chase, and then there will be a minimum of drama before they fall into each other’s arms and live happily ever after. It’s just the way they are.

 

Lucky bastards.

 

She does love a happy ending, and as much as she is hurting, she knows that with her and Bruce, the slipper never quite fit. She’d thought it had, for a long time, but then she saw Bruce and Tony’s effortless orbiting of each other and she realized that it was just a bit too tight, not quite right.

 

She wonders if any other Cinderella has lost her Prince Charming to a Prince Not-So-Charming. It seems unlikely that one would write about it if she had.

 

And even though at the moment she feels awful, she really does wish them well. Or at least she will, in a little while. Bruce blooms around Tony, settling into the sort of confident, content grace that Betty always wanted for him to find. And as astonishing as it is, Tony actually acts like less of an asshole around Bruce, transforming into someone almost likable. It’s a bit like Beauty and the Beast, she thinks, giggling a little wetly. Or maybe Dorky and the Dick? It’s a bit unkind, but she thinks she has a pass to be uncharitable at the moment. Just this once.

 

Because Betty loves a good love story, especially one with a happy ending, but she’d always hoped that she would be the one getting it.

 

“Betty? Are you alright?” Betty looks up as a boy approaches her, looking concerned. A very good-looking boy, if she’s being completely honest. And one who looks a little familiar, but… He smiles unsurely at her, and it clicks.

 

“Steve?” She asks, somewhat stunned. She hasn’t really seen Steve since he told her very earnestly that her boyfriend might be having an emotional affair. She’d laughed at the time. “You look… Have you been working out?” The last time she’d seen him he had been a tall, gangly weed of a boy. Now he seems to have doubled his body weight, and not a bit of it is fat. The only things she can recognize are his kind blue eyes and his earnest, sweet voice.

 

Steve flushes and looks down at himself self-consciously.

 

“Yeah, just a little. Trying to get in shape, you know.” He looks back up at her. “But I didn’t come over here to talk about me. You looked quite distressed, and if there’s one thing I can’t stand, it’s a lady in distress.” He nods firmly, and Betty feels a smile tugging on her face—the first genuine one in hours. She’d never really noticed how sweet and sincere Steve was; she’d never let herself notice. “So if there’s anything at all I can do….” He trails off, blushing and rubbing at the back of his neck awkwardly.

 

Betty decides to take a chance. If she wants to find her own Prince Charming, she’s got to start looking for the right slipper.

 

“Would you mind joining me for a coffee? Just to talk?” She looks down at herself. “After I clean up and look a little less awful, of course.” She hurries to add, rubbing at her damp cheeks. Steve stops her hand with one of his own large, warm ones.

 

“There isn’t anything that needs to be cleaned up, Miss Betty. You look beautiful.” Betty smiles and stands up. There’s no point letting herself get stuck in a rut over something she can’t control.  

 

There’s more than one fairy tale worth reading, after all.

 

* * *

Bruce feels a bit like Sleeping Beauty, stuck waiting for a very flaky prince to show up. Of course, Bruce is neither sleeping nor beautiful, and the only title Tony is worthy of at the moment is ‘Royal Pain’. And obviously the kiss has already happened, but he’s hoping that even though things are a bit out of order it won’t change the end result too much.

 

It is at this point that Bruce realizes he is rambling to himself about fairy tales at 3AM in someone else’s room, and might in fact be running on too little sleep—which is sort of funny, considering the train of thought that brings on this realization. He does tend to get a little loopy and philosophical when he’s overtired and making life-altering decisions.

 

Luckily Tony walks through the door before he starts thinking in iambic pentameter. The way he trips over his own feet as soon as he sees Bruce makes the three hours’ wait worth it. After he recovers, he makes an immediate beeline for the door.

 

“I see this room is taken, so I’ll just—“

 

“Sit. Down.”

 

“Right. Sit down. Exactly what I was going to say.” He fairly collapses on the desk chair and stares over at Bruce where he is sitting Indian-style on the bed. “Were you here the whole time I was gone?”

 

“Oh, no. I stepped out for a nice walk in the park and had a lovely chat with Betty. She says hi, by the way.”

 

“Hi.” Tony repeats, his voice a little _high_ as well. “How nice of her. So then how did you…?” He gestures vaguely around his room.

 

“Front door. Your butler loves me. You just missed our midnight tea.” He’s not even being sarcastic. He really needs to get the recipe for those macaroons, but he thinks now is probably not the time.

 

Tony nods slowly. “Damn. I always miss the fun parties.” Bruce nods agreeably. “So, did you and Betty have a nice discussion on where to hide my body?”

 

Bruce snorts, because they talked about a lot of things, but hiding bodies hadn’t come up.

 

“What makes you think there’d be a body left to hide?” He asks, grinning gently to show that he’s kidding. Tony laughs a little at that and relaxes a little into the chair.

 

“I knew I shouldn’t have gotten you that box set of Sir Arthur Conan Doyle. You’re devious enough as it is.”

 

“Said the pot to the kettle.” He takes a moment to shore up his courage and says firmly as he can, “Betty says you’re in love with me.”

 

Tony’s eyes narrow just a little, but his smile widens to make up it. 

 

“Does she now.” Bruce nods again, struggling to keep a brave face. Betty had sounded so sure… “I don’t know that it’s any of her business.”

 

Which isn’t an outright ‘no’.

 

“The fact that you might or might not be plotting to steal her boyfriend isn’t her business?”

 

Tony exhales loudly and throws up his hands.

 

“For the love of God, I’m not the Godfather. There was no ‘plotting’ going on here. I just—“ He cuts off and looks down at the ground, clenching his teeth.

 

Tony stands abruptly and starts pacing the room like a caged lion. He looks like he might bolt again at any second. Luckily the macaroon-baking butler is familiar with the Tony’s flighty temperament and has already offered to 'misplace' the young master’s car keys until ‘you younglings work out this Romeo and Juliet nonsense’.

 

This kindness might, of course, stem from the fact that if they solve this Gordian Knot of a love story before breakfast, the butler wins the betting pool that apparently the entire Stark house staff is in on. Bruce prefers not to think about that fact. This is awkward enough as is.

 

“Just?” He prods gently.

 

“Nothing. Just nothing. It doesn’t matter. I’m sorry about the kiss, although I’m sure you and Betty had a great laugh about it while planning your valedictorian speeches/marriage vows at _Culver._ “

 

There is a brief silence as that sinks in.

 

“You actually _are_ in love with me,” Bruce says slowly, blinking at Tony as he continues to pace. “How did I miss that?”

 

Then again, he’s been missing a lot of things, apparently. Tony shrugs, shooting him a wry look even as he continues wearing a hole in the floor.

 

“I am a master of subterfuge.”

 

“You once invited me to _play with your test tube._ ” Bruce reminds him. Tony winces.

 

“Ah, yeah. Not my best moment.”

 

“I should hope not.” Bruce agrees primly. “So, you are then?” Tony gives him a questioning look, pausing in his circuit.

 

“A master of subterfuge?”

 

“In love with me. As for the subterfuge, please see Exhibit Test Tube.” Bruce says drily, hoping to hide the slight tremor in his voice. He can’t be wrong about this, he just can’t.

 

Tony cracks a slight smile at the quip, but it quickly falters.

 

“There’s no way we could just sweep this under the rug and go back to the way things were?” Bruce shakes his head firmly. Tony closes his eyes firmly and turns to face Bruce, as tense as though he is facing the firing squad. “Fine. Then yes, I am in love with you, I would kiss you again in a heartbeat if I thought you’d let me, and I’m not one bit sorry about any of it.”

 

“Good.”

 

Tony’s eyes snap open and he gapes at Bruce.

 

“ _Good?”_ He repeats incredulously. Bruce nods as calmly as he can, even though his heart is beating double-time in his chest and he’s worried he might either faint or throw up.

 

“Well, I’d hate to have fallen in love with someone who didn’t love me back, you see. And kissing again at some point in the future would be much appreciated, incidentally. In your own time, of course.” He adds politely, inclining his head deferentially.

 

There is a moment of complete and utter stillness, and then Tony walks slowly up to stand in front of him. He looks bit like he might be sick as well, and wouldn’t that be romantic? All he does, however, is take a deep breath and say shakily,

 

“If this is a joke, I am going to _murder_ you.”

 

“Death threats already? Hardly an auspicious start to our relationship.” When Tony’s jaw remains set and his eyes serious and brittle, Bruce sighs. He’s not so good at words, especially the ones that matter. “I’m serious. Apparently I’m the last one to catch on to this fact, some months after _Steve Rogers_ did, but until recently nobody thought it would be a good idea to tell _me_ that I was in love with my best friend.”

 

“In love with--But—Betty--“

 

“Was the one who kindly informed me of this circumstance, before quite firmly dumping me like a corporation dumps hazardous waste. We’re having lunch on Friday to commiserate on how impossible you are.” He plans to bring several tons of sugar cookies and get in some serious groveling.

 

“Sounds like a blast.” Tony tells him blankly. “So, to be clear, you’re in love with me. Me?” He points at himself to make his point even clearer. Bruce rolls his eyes, because that’s what he’s been saying for the last five minutes and Tony is supposed to be a genius. Then again, so is Bruce.

 

“Well, the butler’s married, so I decided to settle. I hope you don’t mind.”

 

Tony glares at him, but his eyes are twinkling.

 

“I’ll survive.” He pauses to consider Bruce for a moment. Although both of them are trying to act serious, because this is a very serious situation, both of their lips keep twitching up into little incredulous smiles. “I don’t suppose, then, that that future kissing engagement you mentioned earlier could be upgraded to a very near future kissing engagement?” Bruce eyes him critically, tapping his chin in thought.

 

“I’d say not on the first date, except apparently we’ve been inadvertently dating for the past four years.” He reasons thoughtfully. Tony nods in sober agreement, eyes shining with mirth.

 

“And we’ve only kissed once so far.” Tony muses solemnly. “That’s a lot of lost time to make up for.”

 

At this point they give up trying to remain serious. Tony grins widely down at Bruce and holds out his hand like he's asking for a dance. Bruce, smiling uncontrollably back at him, reaches out and takes it.

 

They fit together perfectly, and this time when Tony kisses him, Bruce kisses back.

 

Neither one of them is Prince Charming, but it still feels a lot like Happily Ever After.

**Author's Note:**

> Wow, Betty/Steve. I honestly did not see that coming until I wrote it. Honestly, you can just say they're friends if you don't like the rare pair; I know I'd want a buddy like Steve, buff or not. And sorry about the cheeseball theme, but I adore fairy tales and I can't stand an unhappy ending, so... Yeah. If you wanted more angst, I apologize. Also, I love Tony's macaroon-baking butler, even though he does nothing for the plot and you never meet him and he's a bit random. Everyone needs a badass butler, and JARVIS hasn't been born yet, so I had to throw one in. He's married to me, in case any of you are getting ideas. :)


End file.
